Ok, I know I have been gone a while, I apologize for staying away so long but there were some extenuating circumstances involved that I will not be going into on here.

There is something that I would like to put down in words tho. It is about time, more inportantly how I have spent my time. You see, being who I am I have come to terms with my own mortality more so than most people have I am sure. I deal with death and distruction a lot in my line. I also deal with a lot of life and rebuilding so it kind of balances out in it's own way. Anyhow, I am getting a little off track. I have been forced to re-evaluate some of the time I have spent in my past and it saddens me to know that I did not make a few better choices in some very simple things. Those things being; Spend more time with my family. Not just the wife and kids, I spend as much time with them as possible. I am speaking more of my extended family. I have been fortunate enough that at 33yr old; I still have my grandparents around. However, even tho I have told stories of my grandfathers and the how much I look up to them, I have not spent very much time around them. Truth is, I have one grandfather I have not seen in 9 years. The other I think has been longer.

What brings this topic up you may ask, It is this. A couple weeks ago I call home to talk to the family and my wife informs me that my grandfather on my mothers side is in the hospital but she does not know why. I finaly get a hold of my step father who gets me in touch with my mother who fills me in on the details. My grandfather went to the doctor because his legs swelled up and he could not move them very well without a whole lot of pain. It turns out that they had swelled so bad that the skin started to split in some areas and it became infected and he became more sick. My great grandfather, his dad, lost a leg to diabietes, altho he has never had a problem with it, it is still in his blood. (no pun intended)
Anyway it got real bad there for a while and they were not sure if he was even going to live let alone be able to keep his legs. Now he is recovering way better than any of the doctors had hoped for, and he gets to keep both legs. Now I never realized that I had been gone from his life, and him from mine for so long untill he was almost gone for good. I also did not realize how much I realy did miss the talks we used to have and the stories he used to tell. Needless to say, I am making plans to go see him when I get back from this deployment.

Now here is the kicker.....

While all this was going on, I was also informed by my wife that my father was missing. Thats right, missing, never showed up for work, never called any one, and apperantly this happened just a couple days before Christmas and no one told me. Finaly he calls my little sister to let her know whats up. It turns out that during this already horrible time my dad recieved a phone call from his sister telling him that my other grandfather was in the hospital. He could not sleep after getting the call so he got in his car and drove across 3 states to be with him in case. Again I realized how long it has been. Hell, he has two great grandkids he has never met. This is a man that I have idolized since I was big enough to talk and walk. Just because I have come to terms with my own mortality does not mean I am ready to come to terms with theirs. These two men have been pillars in my life, both kind, gental, give you the shirt off their back to help you out. Both true Heros from wars most want to forget. The ideals alone of these men should live on forever and I am sure they will thru me, and everyone in life they have touched. Thankfully, Both are going to be around a little longer, and every day they grace this earth, and every person they touch will do nothing more than improve the life, love, and people around them.

Hell, all I want is one last time, it has been too long since I have seen them, too long since I have smelled grandma's home made bread fresh from the oven while talking about life, people, and the world around us with my Grandfather. Just once more, one more touch from a walking angel to help me grow that much more. One more wisper of an angels voice to help guide me down the right path. And just once, let my children meet the men that meant so much to me so that they too can be blessed as I have.


I have to go for now, still trying to get things worked out so I can go see them.
till next time,

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

Not a tenth of us who are in business are doing as well as we could if we merely followed the principles that were known to our grandfathers.
William Feather (1908 - 1976)

A grandfather was walking through his yard when he heard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in a tone of voice that sounded like a prayer. He asked her what she was doing. The little girl explained: "I'm praying, but I can't think of exactly the right words, so I'm just saying all the letters, and God will put them together for me, because He knows what I'm thinking."
Charles B. Vaughan