I know that it has been a long while since I have posted anything on here and I am sorry but things have been extremely hectic around here over the last few months.

Anyway, as a lot of you know, I have not been home for more than a few months and it is great being able to spend all this time with my family, especially my children. I do however feel a little guilty, sad, sometimes down right mad. No, I don't have Post traumatic Stress Disorder or anything like that, It is just that in the time I have been home I have sent several of the Soldiers in my unit back to war. These Soldiers are friends, family even, and what gets me all mixed up inside is the feeling that while I get to stay home with my family I feel like I am abandoning these men and women. I feel selfish. I should be standing next to them on that airfield, hugging my family, wiping their tears. Not standing on the airfield waving goodbye to them, telling them to come keep their heads down, watch your ass, and come home safe. A lot of the Soldiers that have deployed recently are brand new "Joes", and I guess that is what gets me the most. Their first time out, first time leaving the family and friends, I remember I was scared shitless my first time and I am sure they are too. You can see it in their eyes when the reality of it all finely hits them. It upsets me because I don't know if I trained my guys enough, I am sure I did but that feeling of doubt always rises. Did I do a good enough job? Are they really ready for this? Will they all step off that plane when it comes home? If I had deployed with them, I could watch over them, continue to train them, teach them.

I only pray that I have done all I could for them, they listened, learned, they are hardened, ready.

Dear God, please watch over them, may they be shielded by your light, may they strike true with your force, keep them in your hands, they will talk to you often asking for guidance, please show them the way. Keep them keen of eye, pure of heart, Please bring my brothers and sisters home safe....Amen